Cara Mattinson

Unbecoming is a short experimental feminist horror film I created, performed and shot entirely on my iPhone as part of my Practice as Research project. Drawing on my own experiences of body anxiety and discomfort with being seen on camera, the film explores the relationship between the female body, self-image and the male gaze through the language of feminist horror.

Feminist horror is a genre I am particularly drawn to for its ability to externalise experiences that can be difficult to articulate. The project transforms my anxieties surrounding the female body, sexuality, identity and social expectations into something physical, monstrous and unsettling. Despite its potential for challenging representations of women and the body, I feel feminist horror remains an underexplored and overlooked area within the mainstream industry. Unbecoming became an opportunity to investigate my own self-image and the feminist horror genre through my own practice.

The decision to shoot entirely on an iPhone was intentional. The phone becomes another form of the gaze: a device through which women are encouraged to photograph, edit, examine and scrutinise themselves. Its image quality creates an intimate yet degraded visual world, reflecting the experience of having one’s appearance constantly examined and evaluated.

The protagonist in the project never speaks, referencing the familiar expectation that women should be seen rather than heard. Instead, her body becomes the primary means of communication and storytelling. Influenced by the dream-like filmmaking of Maya Deren and David Lynch, the film uses black-and-white imagery, repetition, fragmented continuity and surreal body horror to destabilise the character’s sense of self.

The transformation into a spider-like creature is both personal and symbolic. I found seeing myself on camera deeply uncomfortable, and used the film as a way to confront rather than conceal that discomfort. Instead of attempting to make my body more acceptable within the image, I transformed it into something I genuinely fear: spiders. The monstrous becomes a means of rejecting the expectation that the female body must remain recognisable, attractive or acceptable to be worthy of being seen.

Through this transformation, Unbecoming explores what happens when a woman refuses to perform acceptability for the gaze. The monster is no longer simply something to fear; it becomes a form of resistance, transformation and reclamation.